“The work will teach you how to do it.” - Estonian Proverb
I ended last week’s newsletter with Carpe Diem. This week I’ll open by saying Start Today. Your diet. Your meditation practice. That project you’ve been putting off, whether it’s organizing your paperwork or doing your taxes or a book. Rip the band-aid off and just begin. Spring is upon us—have you always wanted to plant a garden? Plant something. Anything. Do it. Don’t wait for permission. And definitely don’t wait until you ‘have time.’ This is one of the great lies we tell ourselves. We never have time. We have to make time. We have to take it.
Back in 2006 when I first started Phetasy 1.0 and took off on the road to sell my t-shirts and greeting cards, the banner of my beloved website said: AT LEAST DO SOMETHING. In many ways, this was Phetasy’s first slogan. It has also been a lesson I’ve had to learn over and over and over again. Something is better than nothing. This isn’t intuitive for an addict prone to black-and-white thinking and an all-or-nothing mentality. Incremental progress and baby steps lead to big gains over time. But I want to plant the whole damn garden and enjoy the harvest in the span of one season. It never occurs to me to just learn how to grow tomatoes this year. Or better yet, just plant some herbs. In my mind I envision an entire garden filled with corn and kale and root veggies. Different squashes and green beans and berries. Where do I put the kale in relation to the corn? How do I lay it out so all the different fruits and veggies are getting what they need? The basket of veggies I’m carrying back to my farmhouse (I don’t have a farmhouse, either, for the record) is as clear in my mind as the dog currently snoring on my couch. I’ll start thinking about all the things I need to get and learn—and it’s only a matter of time before I’ll be saying, “Forget it, it’s too big of a project.” And quit before I even start.
It’s easy to psych ourselves out of any kind of endeavor that feels overwhelming when you consider the scope of it. Weight loss is another one of these mountains that seem impossible to climb—because it’s not about just losing the weight—it’s about an entire lifestyle change. These types of systemic changes to our lives—sobriety, dietary, social media addiction for example—are even more daunting because the gains aren’t obvious at first and sometimes for a long time after you start making the changes. This is why the genius of “one day at a time” works for an addict like me who wants it all tomorrow. I don’t need to lose 20 pounds today. I don’t even need to lose it in two months. Today I just need to get some exercise and eat nourishing food and try to be kind to myself. If I do that consistently, I’ll start to notice a difference.
When I started working out with the women in my phetasy.com community a year ago, I was only focused on the outcome of what I wanted to look like and nothing else. But instead I’ve realized that no matter how I’m feeling, showing up for 30 minutes and sweating will always make my day better. There is a sense of sisterhood and support and community that I now look forward to when I’m logging in. Over the course of the year, the results have taken a backseat to the process. The sense of meaning and pride that comes from patience, discipline and pushing through on the days we want to give up, slack off or quit is the greatest reward of all.
Grow a tomato plant. And some basil. Keep those alive. Enjoy watching them grow. Start there. But start.
Editor's Note: This piece originally appeared in the Phetasy News Weekly newsletter. Sign up at: http://eepurl.com/hgBTdP
The time has come, Pham!! It’s officially the end of our Locals era. This means that starting now, all of our content will be centralized over at Substack and not Locals.
As you can probably see, my life is getting increasingly more bonkers, in the best possible way--but that means dividing my time between two subscriber platforms is no longer sustainable. Consolidating all of the Pham in one place will make it possible to give you more of the focused attention you deserve.
Don’t panic.
Locals is where it all began so the move is bittersweet. I have made lifelong friends here. We’ve done writing prompts together. Worked ...
Hello new followers, I hope I don’t disappoint you. I want this place to feel like home, where we can escape the Thunderdome and process the world. Where we can post dog pics and recipes and book recommendations. Where we support each other as we get sober, lose weight, embark on new business opportunities, creative endeavors, relationships and travels. I want this to be your oasis of sanity and laughter in an increasingly mad world. A creative outlet where you can share your spirit with us.
We might not have any control over the news cycle—but we can control our habits and attitude. It all starts with us. And hopefully a little piece of that will start here.
Pham, I know it’s late for some of us, but I haven’t had a song in my brain in a bit. So, here’s one of my favorite poems instead.
Poem of the Evening💙
“Come live with me and be my love.”
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44675/the-passionate-shepherd-to-his-love
(Sorry for the delay on this prompt—life happened.)
The writing prompts are back! And since everyone is talking about "what is a woman?" I thought we should dig into our Factory Settings and find out what we learned about this stuff.
