What is an action you will take in opposition to a fear this year?
I will make moves. At some point, about a decade ago, I realized that I’d never really had a comfort zone and so I made it my mission to create one. Growing up moving every year and a half set the the tone for the rest of my life. Always moving. The minute that last picture was hung on the wall, it was the sign to pack up and head out. That pattern worsened when left to my own devices.
In my twenties I bounced around America moving from Minnesota to Los Angeles back to Minnesota to Rhode Island to Santa Monica back to Rhode Island where I would move six times in five years before driving around America for nine months, back to Rhode Island before heading to Utah and then back to Los Angeles at last. It was bonkers. I was bonkers.
It was time to settle down, and settle down I did. I got sober, got a dog, got married and even had baby! I’ve managed to only have two addresses in the past sixteen years—a personal record. But I’m stagnant.
One of the clearest voices I’ve always been able to hear, is the voice that tells me when it’s time to get out of dodge. Whether it’s a party in high school, or a country, or a walk on the beach that starts feeling sketchy—I have always honored my instinct to bounce. Because of circumstances that were out of my control, I was not able to leave Los Angeles when I first had the intuition that it was time to go because life is no longer (thankfully) all about me. Then I got pregnant and thank God for our family.
I ignored that inner voice at a cost, though. Los Angeles does not feel like the place I originally moved to in 2000 or returned to in 2007. Now it feels like a city that’s going through a rough patch—and that’s fine for people who can afford to stay above the fray—but for a young family we have no upward mobility and it doesn’t feel safe. Not to mention the insanity in all the schools. So no more ignoring that instinct, even though I’m comfortable and it’s scary to make such a huge change, and there are so many people, places and things I’m going to miss, it’s time to honor my gut—and get out.
