You made it to day 7 of #SoberOctober! Pat yourself on the back, that’s a big fucking deal and a huge accomplishment. One week of consistently doing anything is challenging—so don’t minimize what a milestone this is. It’s a cause for celebration and taking a moment to reflect on what has been working for you—and take a look at some of the things standing in your way.
One of the biggest defects of character I encountered in early sobriety was self-pity. I felt like the biggest loser and every single day was a pity party—table for one. It’s an easy, comfortable place to retreat to and since I got sober and had absolutely no coping tools--I didn’t handle it well. It was me against the world.
One of the most effective antidotes to self-pity has been gratitude. A lot of lip service has been paid to gratitude in our new age self-help addicted society. Everyone from Oprah to Deepak to Tony Robbins has preached the good word of getting grateful. But it's not bullshit. When the going gets tough, I get thankful. I'd rather train my brain to look at the bright side, than focus on the negative. Cultivating a psychology of resilience is important to me. Being thankful for everything I have in the moment is a huge piece of that puzzle.
Today’s challenge is to do a gratitude mind map. Gratitude lists are great, but I started picking one thing—just one simple thing—and thinking of all the other things connected to that one thing that I l also have to be grateful for in just being thankful for that one thing. It’s really changing my relationship to everything. Don’t overthink it, just set a timer for 3-5 minutes and go.
I've attached today's just to give you an idea.
The time has come, Pham!! It’s officially the end of our Locals era. This means that starting now, all of our content will be centralized over at Substack and not Locals.
As you can probably see, my life is getting increasingly more bonkers, in the best possible way--but that means dividing my time between two subscriber platforms is no longer sustainable. Consolidating all of the Pham in one place will make it possible to give you more of the focused attention you deserve.
Don’t panic.
Locals is where it all began so the move is bittersweet. I have made lifelong friends here. We’ve done writing prompts together. Worked ...
Hello new followers, I hope I don’t disappoint you. I want this place to feel like home, where we can escape the Thunderdome and process the world. Where we can post dog pics and recipes and book recommendations. Where we support each other as we get sober, lose weight, embark on new business opportunities, creative endeavors, relationships and travels. I want this to be your oasis of sanity and laughter in an increasingly mad world. A creative outlet where you can share your spirit with us.
We might not have any control over the news cycle—but we can control our habits and attitude. It all starts with us. And hopefully a little piece of that will start here.
Pham, I know it’s late for some of us, but I haven’t had a song in my brain in a bit. So, here’s one of my favorite poems instead.
Poem of the Evening💙
“Come live with me and be my love.”
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44675/the-passionate-shepherd-to-his-love
(Sorry for the delay on this prompt—life happened.)
The writing prompts are back! And since everyone is talking about "what is a woman?" I thought we should dig into our Factory Settings and find out what we learned about this stuff.
