DISCLAIMER: Please remember, I don’t know shit about shit. I’m only sharing stuff that’s worked for me in the hopes that maybe some of it will work for you. “Take what works and leave the rest” as they say.

First of all—pat yourself on the back—you made it through your first weekend! That’s fucking huge. And if you didn’t make it, it’s not too late to start #SoberOctober over or start for the first time. It’s only the 5th after all and this is a long month. Now I’m going to say something some of you might not want to hear—if you struggle to go one or two days without a substance—you might consider taking a long, hard look at that. Just sayin'.

I quit drinking and smoking weed for a lot of reasons but mostly because I was tired of lying to myself. Tired of waking up and telling myself I wouldn’t smoke only to hit the bowl by 10am. Tired of telling myself I’d only have one beer when I knew I wanted six beers and oblivion. Basically, I had lost control over choosing whether or not to drink and smoke and although it took me a long fucking time to admit it to myself, I am not a person who can moderate. I don’t want to moderate, I don’t see the point. I want black out, fuzzy distance, bye bye world. Abstinence is easier for me with substances because moderation is hell. That’s not true for everyone and fuck those assholes who can say they’re having two beers and actually follow through on that. Just kidding. Kind of.

So whatever reason you’re doing #SoberOctober—maybe it’s just a reset, or just because you want to explore your relationship to substances or because this might be the beginning of some new lifestyle choices you know deep down inside you probably need to make but don’t want to—congratulations on making it thus far.

For those of you who are on Day 5, this is about when I’m starting to feel a little better physically from the withdrawal. My mind is a bit clearer, the night sweats are diminishing, the irritation levels are still high but I’m not contemplating vehicular manslaughter every time I get in the car.

And this is exactly the moment I need to start building some new habits. My old morning routine was to wake up and smoke a bowl—what’s going to replace that? I need something and preferably it should be something positive not opening up my computer and doomscrolling. My evening routine was six beers and a bottle of wine—what am I going to do now with that time?

Today’s homework: choose ONW tiny new habit you’re going to challenge yourself to implement during the month of October. Make it sustainable and simple. If you want to meditate, start with 3 minutes—not 20. We are going to be building on these habits throughout the month—but today let’s just start with something easy.

Mine is going to be to wake up every morning and first thing say the St. Francis Prayer and follow it with this statement. “Today I'm going to focus on what I can give instead of what I can get.”

Your turn! Share in the comments if you feel like it.