DISCLAIMER: Please remember, I don’t know shit about shit. I’m only sharing stuff that’s worked for me in the hopes that maybe some of it will work for you. “Take what works and leave the rest” as they say.
First of all—pat yourself on the back—you made it through your first weekend! That’s fucking huge. And if you didn’t make it, it’s not too late to start #SoberOctober over or start for the first time. It’s only the 5th after all and this is a long month. Now I’m going to say something some of you might not want to hear—if you struggle to go one or two days without a substance—you might consider taking a long, hard look at that. Just sayin'.
I quit drinking and smoking weed for a lot of reasons but mostly because I was tired of lying to myself. Tired of waking up and telling myself I wouldn’t smoke only to hit the bowl by 10am. Tired of telling myself I’d only have one beer when I knew I wanted six beers and oblivion. Basically, I had lost control over choosing whether or not to drink and smoke and although it took me a long fucking time to admit it to myself, I am not a person who can moderate. I don’t want to moderate, I don’t see the point. I want black out, fuzzy distance, bye bye world. Abstinence is easier for me with substances because moderation is hell. That’s not true for everyone and fuck those assholes who can say they’re having two beers and actually follow through on that. Just kidding. Kind of.
So whatever reason you’re doing #SoberOctober—maybe it’s just a reset, or just because you want to explore your relationship to substances or because this might be the beginning of some new lifestyle choices you know deep down inside you probably need to make but don’t want to—congratulations on making it thus far.
For those of you who are on Day 5, this is about when I’m starting to feel a little better physically from the withdrawal. My mind is a bit clearer, the night sweats are diminishing, the irritation levels are still high but I’m not contemplating vehicular manslaughter every time I get in the car.
And this is exactly the moment I need to start building some new habits. My old morning routine was to wake up and smoke a bowl—what’s going to replace that? I need something and preferably it should be something positive not opening up my computer and doomscrolling. My evening routine was six beers and a bottle of wine—what am I going to do now with that time?
Today’s homework: choose ONW tiny new habit you’re going to challenge yourself to implement during the month of October. Make it sustainable and simple. If you want to meditate, start with 3 minutes—not 20. We are going to be building on these habits throughout the month—but today let’s just start with something easy.
Mine is going to be to wake up every morning and first thing say the St. Francis Prayer and follow it with this statement. “Today I'm going to focus on what I can give instead of what I can get.”
Your turn! Share in the comments if you feel like it.
The time has come, Pham!! It’s officially the end of our Locals era. This means that starting now, all of our content will be centralized over at Substack and not Locals.
As you can probably see, my life is getting increasingly more bonkers, in the best possible way--but that means dividing my time between two subscriber platforms is no longer sustainable. Consolidating all of the Pham in one place will make it possible to give you more of the focused attention you deserve.
Don’t panic.
Locals is where it all began so the move is bittersweet. I have made lifelong friends here. We’ve done writing prompts together. Worked ...
Hello new followers, I hope I don’t disappoint you. I want this place to feel like home, where we can escape the Thunderdome and process the world. Where we can post dog pics and recipes and book recommendations. Where we support each other as we get sober, lose weight, embark on new business opportunities, creative endeavors, relationships and travels. I want this to be your oasis of sanity and laughter in an increasingly mad world. A creative outlet where you can share your spirit with us.
We might not have any control over the news cycle—but we can control our habits and attitude. It all starts with us. And hopefully a little piece of that will start here.
Pham, I know it’s late for some of us, but I haven’t had a song in my brain in a bit. So, here’s one of my favorite poems instead.
Poem of the Evening💙
“Come live with me and be my love.”
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/44675/the-passionate-shepherd-to-his-love
(Sorry for the delay on this prompt—life happened.)
The writing prompts are back! And since everyone is talking about "what is a woman?" I thought we should dig into our Factory Settings and find out what we learned about this stuff.
